ADD

I read that people who grow up with ADD have a fifty-fifty chance of becoming addicts because they lack neurotransmitters like dopamine that make their executive functioning work properly and that addicts respond unnaturally to rewards. Hmmmm, sounds familiar. And it made me kind of depressed. Made me depressed?

It reinforced my natural tendency towards catastrophic thinking because there were no cures, the only advice was to get sober and to meditate. Kill me.

Scooby was barking at this lady and her dog as I was cleaning a the dead mouse that I had picked up the day before from the yard and placed into a hefty bag and into our garbage can that had then been mysteriously pulled out of the trash and then out of the hefty bag and mostly eaten and then left in a pulverized heap on the ground next to the garbage. Like a dummy, I apologized to the lady for my dog who was barking at inside of our fenced yard instead of just staying quiet so she wouldn’t notice me and would just walk by. She got really mad and yelled at me.

“Can you please control your dog so I can walk by?”

I was thinking Bitch, does it look like I can control my dog? Besides, I’m cleaning up mouse entrails right now and, um, what’s wrong with your piece of shit dog that it can’t walk next to my precious Cujo angel without flipping out? Maybe your dog is actually the problem. I went through the motions of going to my yard very slowly, to “control my dog” but by the time I walked around the big-ass fence, through the gate, and over to the part of the yard where my dog was, this woman and her Rottweiller had been standing in front of my dog staring into her eyes so that Scooby was in full Devil dog hounds from hell mode of over arousal. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to hold onto a very long and bendy crocodile type of object, but it’s difficult and I fell into the grapefruit tree but held onto her collar in a vain attempt to control her and got dragged for a while and tore my nice work pants. I’m not sure why I was cleaning up a dead mouse in my nice work pants. I think it has something to do with ADD.